Published On: Monday, January 9, 2017|Categories: Parents, Tenney Subscribers|

In the past several years, a very competitive way of parenting has been born. Because our job market is so competitive, many parents find it necessary to push their children to be the best at everything they do.

This is especially true when it comes to academics. Children are expected to make perfect grades and achieve perfect attendance in order to look good for potential colleges. After all, in the minds of many parents, attending a prestigious college is the key to getting a good job and really doing well in life.

One unfortunate thing about this mindset is that it pushes an enormous amount of stress on children as well as their parents. It cause children to become nervous during testing, which leads to poor grades. It also causes parents to go to some great lengths in order to ensure their child is seen as an ideal student and a perfect child.

This phenomenon is sometimes referred to as “no-mistake parenting” and leads to parents who routinely take blame, solve problems, and take matters into their own hands in whatever way is needed to make their young student appear to be perfect. This could mean a parent offers a bit too much “help” during homework time and answers questions for their child. It could also mean that teachers or other children are blamed for the student’s poor behavior in class.

For many obvious reasons, this situation is not ideal. After all, how is a child going to learn from their own mistakes if they are never allowed to make any?

Children who are not held accountable for their actions in social settings will have a hard time adjusting without mom or dad around to back them up. This will make simple tasks such as attending college classes and working a job seem daunting. Eventually, it could lead the young person to avoid certain opportunities altogether due to a lack of understanding of social norms and the inability to cope when a mistake is made.

Another terrible issue with this type of parenting is the end result in an academic setting. Children who are spoonfed all of the answers and made to feel perfect will have a terrible time adjusting to school without their parents by their side. Key concepts that were meant to bepracticed during their homework time will have slipped from their brains as quickly and as easily as the answers that were given to them. Time management will be difficult for these students to master without someone dictating their every move. They could suffer depression after being knocked from their high horses. And lastly, those same issues with fears of making mistakes could easily crop up.

Have you been coddling your young student a bit too much? Is your child allowed to make mistakes and learn from them? Are they permitted to solve problems on their own? Now is the time to seriously consider your parenting techniques. All of the problems mentioned above can be resolved with a simple change in attitude right now.

If you find yourself pushing your child to be perfect and going to great lengths to prove their worth for them, it might be a good idea to step back and rethink your parenting choices.

No matter what your parenting techniques have been up to this point, one of the best things you can do for your child to help ensure their success is to offer them a one-on-one education opportunity. Here at The Tenney School, we offer individualized instruction as well as some of the best teachers in the city.

If you and your child would like to learn more, please contact us today.

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